just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
