CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
