If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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