Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
