So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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