these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
