Just cropdusted the office
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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