well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
