In the future we'll all be gay
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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