So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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