I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
