I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
no, he came in my armpit
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
