the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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