feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Bring me that man meat
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
