dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
