Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
