see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
