and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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