Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
