just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
