Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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