VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
