I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
