Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
