somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
