Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You're like the curious george of whores
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
