you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My vagina just recognized that song.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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