She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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