Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
