and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
