I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize