I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
