"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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