he puts the penis in happiness.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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