just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
