Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
