so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
