i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
