i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
