walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
