The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just want nice things and good sex
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
