In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
