Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
