You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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