Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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