Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
