It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
