How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
