I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
