I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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