my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
