Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
