weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
