just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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